Falling Slowly

The moment that I was finally able to regain control over my body, I grabbed what few things I had and left. If Hunter were to say anything about the puke in his room, I would blame it on Steve.I crawled out of the window and began what felt like the walk of shame back to my house. As I picked up the pace, feeling an urgent need for my shower and a toothbrush, I attempted to remember what happened the night before. Unfortunately, all that came to mind was my first encounter with "lady sex." I shuddered to think who the other girl might have been, but I was resolved not to find out. When I entered my house, it smelled like piss and alcohol. I didn't stop to look at what I would have to clean up later. All I wanted was to get upstairs.

I opened the door to my room, and was immediately overcome with sadness.

Why in the world would my room make me sad? I thought, but not wanting to deal with anyone or anything, I shrugged it off and grabbed some clean pajamas from one of my drawers. I then went to take the hottest shower ever, so I could sanitize and remove the grime and filth from my body. Upon finishing, I went to my room and collapsed on my bed. I just wanted a nap.

When I woke up, it was dark outside, so I rolled over to check the time. 8:27 P.M. I groaned. I'd slept all day and felt a throbbing in my head the size of Texas. I could hear people downstairs, and worked myself up to face them. I tentatively checked my appearance before exiting my room. There were giant, black circles under my bloodshot eyes and my skin was pale.

Perfect, I thought. Now I look like I feel.

I opened the door and trudged down the stairs. Everyone looked up as I entered the room.

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty." Two-Bit giggled. "I don't think you understand the term beauty sleep. You look like hell." Everyone broke out in fits of laughter.

I just gave him a lovely hand gesture, and left the room. I needed some aspirin and something to drink. While I was filling up a glass with water, Soda walked up next to me. He leaned against the counter, arms folded across his chest. The look on his face was that of someone in mourning, and he stared at his feet. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, sipping my water.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked, entirely unsure of what to say or do.

He shook his head. Then I turned my back to him, found some aspirin in one of the cabinets and popped a few in my mouth before turning to face him again. He was still in the same position.

"Are you alright, Soda? You don't look too good. He shifted his weight around.

"I'm fine, I guess." He mumbled. "What about you? You seem to be handling things pretty well. You're alright with all of this?" He said, finally looking me in the eye.

"Okay with what, exactly?" I was confused. I suddenly knew that I was missing a crucial piece of information. Fucking alcohol. I thought.

He cocked his head to the side and replied, "About Jelly and Hunter. I thought you guys were dating?"

"Wait, what the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, setting my empty glass on the counter.

"You don't know?" He gasped.

"Know what? Tell me!" I was yelling, and the gang slowly filed in to see what was going on.

He looked down again. "Audrey... Hunter and Jelly slept together... Hunter told me last night. They cheated on us."

I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I clinched my jaw to keep from crying with everyone watching. Finally, I burst.

"SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed. "MOVE!" I yelled as I pushed my way out of the kitchen and up to my room. While I was stomping up the stairs, I heard everyone saying their goodbyes and leaving. I then threw open my door, slammed it closed behind me, grabbed a syringe from my bedside table and screamed in fury while injecting myself with yet another dose of heroin. Out-of-nowhere, there were two muscular arms wrapped around my body. I jerked around, only to be face-to-face with Owen. "Shh... It's okay." He whispered, tightening his hold. My knees went weak, and that's when I remembered Hunter showing up in my room last night to tell me. I started to sob into Owen's shoulder.I breathed in his scent. There was a faint hint of cologne and smoke. It was nowhere near as intoxicating as Hunter's, but I didn't want to think about him. That's when I had the most treacherous idea. I leaned my head back and met Owen's mouth with  my own. He pulled back, dazed, but I persisted. I kissed him again and pried his mouth open with my tongue. I wrapped my arms around his neck, grabbed a fistful of his hair, and ensured that he could not resist. That's when he scooped me up, and laid me gently on my bed. He stripped me of my clothes, then he of his own, not wasting any time. He tried to look at me, but I didn't want him to. That was of no concern to him, this was just revenge sex, and I was in control. I flipped over, straddling him on the bed, and rocked my hips in small circular movements. I felt the drugs making my mind cloudy, and while it turns most into couch potatoes, it was like pure adrenaline in my veins. I heard a noise behind me, and whipped around to see Hunter just staring at Owen and I. It only took him a few moments to assess what was happening.

"What the fuck is going on here?" He bellowed, and then picked up the syringe from the floor. He looked at me, and then proceeded to yank me off of the bed, pushing me into the wall.

"Stay there, Audrey! Don't you fuckin' move!"

He then turns to Owen, who was scrambling to his feet, and decks him, all the while screaming and calling names. "Get the fuck out before I kill you!" He demanded, and Owen ran out of my room naked.

He turned back to me, grabbed both of my shoulders and began to shake me. "So this is what you're fucking doing now? Does he have anything to do with this shit?!" He yelled.

"Get out of my house! This has nothing to do with you!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? My best friend sleeping with my girl has nothing to do with me?! What? Is this supposed to be some kind of payback? Spite doesn't look too cute on you, Audrey. I don't want you seeing him or these fucking syringes ever again!" He was inches from my face, with an iron grip on my shoulders, still shaking me violently.

 "Fuck you! I'm not your little bitch! You can't tell me what to do!" I spat at him, and pushed him backwards.

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to him. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" He slapped me across the face with his other free hand. Astonished, and completely sober, I acted on impulse, and slapped him back. It was light a light bulb went off in his head, and he punched the wall next to me, leaving a gaping hole as a result.

"Fuckin' slut!" He shouted at me and stormed out of my room, down the stairs and through the front door.

I turned around in a fit of rage, and started ripping things from the walls, clearing any surface of it's contents, and throwing things across the room. When I saw that there was no longer anything else for me to destroy, I fell to my knees, bawling. I hated myself. I knew he was right, and sleeping with Owen was a mistake. How could I have been so fucking stupid! I yelled at myself.

I looked up, as I thought of the wonderful little treasure chest under my bed. I crawled over, and opened it up, staring at the contraband inside. I removed two large bottles of vodka that I stole from Buck's, and a bottle of Valium. I popped a few pills, took several large gulps of one of the bottles, and climbed up onto my bed. I drifted off into a darkness where I was unable to feel anything, and I could think of nothing. I fed my stupor, and stayed in my room for days; not eating, sleeping or showering. After a while, I ran out of pills and vodka. Emotions flooded over me, and I could no longer stay away from Hunter. I stumbled out of bed to go clean myself up. Even though I was unsure of whether he would forgive me or not, I dressed up for him on the off chance that he wanted to make up. I slipped on a tight, short, backless, red, dress with cut outs around the hips and my best pair of black heels. I left my hair in it's natural curly state, and then applied eyeliner, mascara, and chap stick. I wanted to impress him.

It was already dark out by the time I left my house on my way to Buck's. When I arrived, there were clusters of guys all over the place, all of which gave me the nod and a few whistles. I strutted over to Hunter, who was sitting at the bar, and took a seat next to him. I ordered a beer, took a sip, and just stared at him for a minute. Finally, I got the courage to speak.

"Hunter, can we talk?" I whispered.
 He looked at me with confusion. "Yea... Yea, we can talk."

"Where do I begin?" I paused. "I'm sorry Hunter. I was a bitch. Sleeping with Owen... That..."
I had to stop and take a deep breath while trying to hold back tears. "That was a mistake. I reacted out of hurt and anger,and I'm not exactly sure why that was the first thing I thought of, but I'm sorry..."

Mindlessly, I reached over and touched his hand, gently caressing his skin, but jerked my hand away before he could react. He put his hands on his forehead and ordered another drink.

"I'm the one who should be sorry." He looked at his hands and then clenched them into fists. "I spend all this time promising myself that I won't turn into my father, and it's happening anyway. I will never, ever, lay my hands on you again."

I watched him as I contemplated what he said. "Just because you hit me once, doesn't mean you are or will be like your father."

He sighed and met my gaze. "I messed up. Hell, we both messed up. But I love you, Little Bird. I can't function without you. I can't even breathe."

I placed my hand on his face. "I know the feeling." I said as I kissed him lightly. "I love you too."

He pressed his forehead against mine and smiled. Suddenly, I remembered what I was wearing. I pushed him away, beaming. "Now let's go see if we can do something about that breathing issue."
He smirked and kissed me lightly on the neck, sending shivers up my spine. Oh, how I missed this. How I missed you. He slid out of his seat, taking me by the hand, and led me out of the bar to his house.  When we were safe inside the confines of his four walls, he took me into his arms. "Mmmmm." I groaned into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, I can make you do better than that." He quipped, and then kissed me passionately.

I couldn't help but repeat 'I love you' over and over in my head while he undressed me, and the making up commenced. He kissed every inch of my body, and I knew that I never wanted anyone else to touch  me the way he does ever again. I was his, he was mine, and everything in between.