"Change, Change, Change"

I could feel things shifting. Although, I was unsure of the initial occurrence that sparked this change; you feel it in the atmosphere. It was like electricity, shocking and stimulating the mind. I understood what was happening, yet I denied every account despite the evidence. I didn't want to believe it. I refused. However, I know it was entirely my fault, all because I lacked the courage to be open about how I felt. As I watched this careless display of affection, I thought I could hear my heartbreaking. Even though I wanted so badly to turn away, my body was frozen and forced me to watch one of my worst fears played out right before my eyes. I felt nauseous. I could feel hot tears streaming down my face; my breathing quickened. Fortunately, my vision blurred to the point that I was unable to see what was happening, but the sight was burned into my mind. It remained even when I closed my eyes. All I could think of was betrayal, but how could I be angry about something no one knew?

They stood by the front door and I was hidden in my doorway on the second floor. They were always together, so that aspect of the situation came as no surprise. The thing that shocked me was what followed.
Soda turned to Jelly and checked over his shoulder to ensure they were alone. He then placed his hands on her face, pulling him closer to him. Standing nose to nose, they looked into each others eyes. She slipped her arms around his waist, as he broke their intimate gaze to gently kiss the tip of her nose.

"Jels..." He whispered, "I need to tell you something."

Jelly quickly placed her index finger against his lips.

"Shhh... Spoilers." She smiled.

They stood there for a moment longer, giggling. Finally, they heard Two-Bit approaching and separated. All three of them disappeared into the living room, and laughter and idle chatter followed.
Then, I heard a familiar voice to my left. There, emerging from my bathroom, was Owen.

"Who knew? Jelly and Soda?" He laughed.

"How long have you been standing there!" I chastened.

He looked at me with his usual sexy sneer, and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't look at me like that."I snapped, and turned away.

He laughed again, and moved closer, putting his hands on my hips.

"What's with all the tears, angel puss?"

I pushed him away and walked into my room. Before I could close the door, he caught my arm and pulled my into his arms. He just looked at me... searching me for something. I put my head down, and attempted to get away. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted my gaze back to meet his.

"Stop looking away." He whispered, "Let me take your mind off of him. I want you to feel what love really is by someone who truly loves you. Please, stop crying. I can make you forget, I promise."

He wiped the tears from my eyes.

"How?" I questioned.

He didn't say a word, he simply kissed me. He pulled away, and lingered. I didn't object, but I was unsure what to think as well. He kissed me again, this time harder. He closed the door to my bedroom, and we were alone in an intimate embrace. Pushing me up against the wall, he slid his hands down lower. He moved over her breasts, down my sides, suddenly both hands were on the back of my thighs and with one swift movement I was in his arms. He carried me slowly, still kissing me deeply, and laid me down on my bed. As he lowered himself down on top of me, my mind wandered. I thought of the countless times over the last year that Owen had crawled through my window drunk, high, or both. He would always slip right into my bed, wrap his arms around my waist, and kiss my neck. Sometimes he would bury his face in the crook of my neck, sobbing, while I would run my fingers through his hair. His sister, Rhyan, my closest ally was always so concerned about him, and wanted to ensure his safety. So I would make sure he would call her before he passed out. Often, he refused to as his guilt and the realization of the disappointment he caused her, would flood over him. When that happened, I would take his phone, pretend to be him, and text her to put her mind at ease. I had spent so many nights lying in bed with Owen, yet he never tried anything.

Now, he was sliding his warms hands up my dress. As we rhythmically moved together, I realized what I was doing. I pushed up on his chest.

"Owen..." I tried to make out, but his lips were urgent. I pushed harder, and turned my head to the side.

"OWEN!"

He didn't stop. He persisted. Then that's when he shoved his hand into my underwear. My whole body shuddered. He started trying to unzip his jeans. "Owen, please stop..." I whimpered as I continued to fight him. I could no longer breathe. My heart was racing, and I was immediately panic stricken. He continued trying to kiss me, and I finally got my hand free. I slapped him as hard as I could across the face.

He jumped back, a look of guilt came over his face, and his eyes welled up with tears. I knew he wasn't trying to hurt me.

"Audrey... I... I'm so sorry... I wasn't thinking." He stammered, and with that he ran out of my room, down the stairs, and out the front door before I could even react.
I sprang to my window, only to see him running down the street. I spun around, grabbed my purse, and started to follow him. I ran out the front door, and I could hear Two-Bit calling after me. Instead of stopping, I ignored him, and kept running.  I could see him in the distance, and kept going.

"OWEN! WAIT!" I yelled.

He kept running. I kept calling his name until I saw him stop, bend over as if catching his breath, and drop to his knees. I quickened my pace so I could catch him before he took off again. When I reached him, I dropped to my knees next to him, and kissed him on the cheek. He was still weeping.

"Owen, I know you weren't trying to hurt me." I whispered in his ear.

He turned to face me, and I kissed his lips.
"Let me help you forget." I said.

He shook his head, "I know something better." He stated.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, dialed a number, and began talking to a someone on the other end.

"Bigsby?" He asked, "Yeah, I'll be there."

He hung up, and looked at me again.

"Are you ready for an adventure?"

Everything inside me told me no, go home, but I pulled him to his feet.
"Bigsby it is." I stated.

Little did I know then, exactly what I had gotten myself into.

"Little Bird"

LIFE- Sometimes a blissful, rhapsodic endeavor and at others cruel and pointless. Over the years I have found a way to tolerate the ridiculous roller-coaster that is everyday life. I would retreat to the solitude of my room and bury my nose in a book. I would dream of far away places, and a time where love was easy. The eloquence of the words brimming like tidal waves flowing from the page would captivate the heart, seduce the mind, and ensnare the senses. I would succumb to the beautiful fantasies that were hidden between the pages waiting for me. It was in those moments where I would utterly lose myself, and forget about life's problems. I learned to believe in miracles, truth, romance, and beauty from ashes. That's when I began to base my life around those who surrounded me with their love, laughter, and friendship. It no longer mattered that my father decided to remove himself from my presence, but in the midst of that brokenness I found who my real family was. Our wonderful group of misfits, banded together by peculiarity, circumstance, and a sense of humor. They all quickly proved to be the kind of friends that every person dreams of. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but in all honesty, we were unbreakable. As much as they were part of me; I was a part of them.

So as I sat alone on the window seat in my room reading a book I had read a million times I could hear the gang assembling downstairs. The bellowing laughter and shrill cries wafted up the stairs into my small bedroom. I loved being around them, but I loved the solitary confinement that my room provided. However, my door always remained open, because I loved my random visitors who would only come to pester. I could hear Two-Bit laughing at one of his many successful pranks, and footsteps on the stairs. Kit and Jelly appeared in the doorway. They gave a quick hello, and made their way to their favorite spot- my bed. I would listen to them talk about who is dating who, the torment of a random Soc, a rumble, and what color nail polish looked better... The usual exchange of information between us best friends. I often compared myself to the two of them. Their beauty far exceeded that of my own, and their boisterous, vivacious personalities made up for what I lacked. They were in every way my sisters and I loved them. I told them everything. No matter how trivial or flighty it seemed, they frequently assured me that whatever I had to say was important. Although I know that my life would not be the same without them... I caught myself wondering what I could do to make my sister Blair feel the same. We had both experienced similar devastation caused by our father, yet the affect and the way we handled it were completely different. I so desired to make her feel loved- to make her feel like my sister, but I failed at every attempt.

Suddenly, Soda popped his head into the doorway and interrupted any thoughts I had that did not involve him. Oh how beautiful he was... That smile and those eyes. All I could do was give a goofy grin. I couldn't think, and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't understand why he had the affect on me. He was just a normal boy. A normal, beautiful, kind, goofy, funny, sweet... sweet boy. I wanted to kiss him! I wanted his arms around me, and to hear him say he loved me! And before I knew it those three words slipped out...

"I love you."

All eyes were on me.

"WHAT?!" Kit squealed.

"Oh, uhhh, I just wanted to tell you guys that I love you. You're just great." I stammered. I was obviously lying, and of course Kit and Jel knew but let it slide. Soda on the other hand was completely oblivious, so I decided to continue reading my book again, and pursue the whimsy fairy-tale that I held in my hands. If only life were as simple as the stories I would read.