Falling Slowly

The moment that I was finally able to regain control over my body, I grabbed what few things I had and left. If Hunter were to say anything about the puke in his room, I would blame it on Steve.I crawled out of the window and began what felt like the walk of shame back to my house. As I picked up the pace, feeling an urgent need for my shower and a toothbrush, I attempted to remember what happened the night before. Unfortunately, all that came to mind was my first encounter with "lady sex." I shuddered to think who the other girl might have been, but I was resolved not to find out. When I entered my house, it smelled like piss and alcohol. I didn't stop to look at what I would have to clean up later. All I wanted was to get upstairs.

I opened the door to my room, and was immediately overcome with sadness.

Why in the world would my room make me sad? I thought, but not wanting to deal with anyone or anything, I shrugged it off and grabbed some clean pajamas from one of my drawers. I then went to take the hottest shower ever, so I could sanitize and remove the grime and filth from my body. Upon finishing, I went to my room and collapsed on my bed. I just wanted a nap.

When I woke up, it was dark outside, so I rolled over to check the time. 8:27 P.M. I groaned. I'd slept all day and felt a throbbing in my head the size of Texas. I could hear people downstairs, and worked myself up to face them. I tentatively checked my appearance before exiting my room. There were giant, black circles under my bloodshot eyes and my skin was pale.

Perfect, I thought. Now I look like I feel.

I opened the door and trudged down the stairs. Everyone looked up as I entered the room.

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty." Two-Bit giggled. "I don't think you understand the term beauty sleep. You look like hell." Everyone broke out in fits of laughter.

I just gave him a lovely hand gesture, and left the room. I needed some aspirin and something to drink. While I was filling up a glass with water, Soda walked up next to me. He leaned against the counter, arms folded across his chest. The look on his face was that of someone in mourning, and he stared at his feet. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, sipping my water.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked, entirely unsure of what to say or do.

He shook his head. Then I turned my back to him, found some aspirin in one of the cabinets and popped a few in my mouth before turning to face him again. He was still in the same position.

"Are you alright, Soda? You don't look too good. He shifted his weight around.

"I'm fine, I guess." He mumbled. "What about you? You seem to be handling things pretty well. You're alright with all of this?" He said, finally looking me in the eye.

"Okay with what, exactly?" I was confused. I suddenly knew that I was missing a crucial piece of information. Fucking alcohol. I thought.

He cocked his head to the side and replied, "About Jelly and Hunter. I thought you guys were dating?"

"Wait, what the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, setting my empty glass on the counter.

"You don't know?" He gasped.

"Know what? Tell me!" I was yelling, and the gang slowly filed in to see what was going on.

He looked down again. "Audrey... Hunter and Jelly slept together... Hunter told me last night. They cheated on us."

I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I clinched my jaw to keep from crying with everyone watching. Finally, I burst.

"SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed. "MOVE!" I yelled as I pushed my way out of the kitchen and up to my room. While I was stomping up the stairs, I heard everyone saying their goodbyes and leaving. I then threw open my door, slammed it closed behind me, grabbed a syringe from my bedside table and screamed in fury while injecting myself with yet another dose of heroin. Out-of-nowhere, there were two muscular arms wrapped around my body. I jerked around, only to be face-to-face with Owen. "Shh... It's okay." He whispered, tightening his hold. My knees went weak, and that's when I remembered Hunter showing up in my room last night to tell me. I started to sob into Owen's shoulder.I breathed in his scent. There was a faint hint of cologne and smoke. It was nowhere near as intoxicating as Hunter's, but I didn't want to think about him. That's when I had the most treacherous idea. I leaned my head back and met Owen's mouth with  my own. He pulled back, dazed, but I persisted. I kissed him again and pried his mouth open with my tongue. I wrapped my arms around his neck, grabbed a fistful of his hair, and ensured that he could not resist. That's when he scooped me up, and laid me gently on my bed. He stripped me of my clothes, then he of his own, not wasting any time. He tried to look at me, but I didn't want him to. That was of no concern to him, this was just revenge sex, and I was in control. I flipped over, straddling him on the bed, and rocked my hips in small circular movements. I felt the drugs making my mind cloudy, and while it turns most into couch potatoes, it was like pure adrenaline in my veins. I heard a noise behind me, and whipped around to see Hunter just staring at Owen and I. It only took him a few moments to assess what was happening.

"What the fuck is going on here?" He bellowed, and then picked up the syringe from the floor. He looked at me, and then proceeded to yank me off of the bed, pushing me into the wall.

"Stay there, Audrey! Don't you fuckin' move!"

He then turns to Owen, who was scrambling to his feet, and decks him, all the while screaming and calling names. "Get the fuck out before I kill you!" He demanded, and Owen ran out of my room naked.

He turned back to me, grabbed both of my shoulders and began to shake me. "So this is what you're fucking doing now? Does he have anything to do with this shit?!" He yelled.

"Get out of my house! This has nothing to do with you!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? My best friend sleeping with my girl has nothing to do with me?! What? Is this supposed to be some kind of payback? Spite doesn't look too cute on you, Audrey. I don't want you seeing him or these fucking syringes ever again!" He was inches from my face, with an iron grip on my shoulders, still shaking me violently.

 "Fuck you! I'm not your little bitch! You can't tell me what to do!" I spat at him, and pushed him backwards.

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to him. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" He slapped me across the face with his other free hand. Astonished, and completely sober, I acted on impulse, and slapped him back. It was light a light bulb went off in his head, and he punched the wall next to me, leaving a gaping hole as a result.

"Fuckin' slut!" He shouted at me and stormed out of my room, down the stairs and through the front door.

I turned around in a fit of rage, and started ripping things from the walls, clearing any surface of it's contents, and throwing things across the room. When I saw that there was no longer anything else for me to destroy, I fell to my knees, bawling. I hated myself. I knew he was right, and sleeping with Owen was a mistake. How could I have been so fucking stupid! I yelled at myself.

I looked up, as I thought of the wonderful little treasure chest under my bed. I crawled over, and opened it up, staring at the contraband inside. I removed two large bottles of vodka that I stole from Buck's, and a bottle of Valium. I popped a few pills, took several large gulps of one of the bottles, and climbed up onto my bed. I drifted off into a darkness where I was unable to feel anything, and I could think of nothing. I fed my stupor, and stayed in my room for days; not eating, sleeping or showering. After a while, I ran out of pills and vodka. Emotions flooded over me, and I could no longer stay away from Hunter. I stumbled out of bed to go clean myself up. Even though I was unsure of whether he would forgive me or not, I dressed up for him on the off chance that he wanted to make up. I slipped on a tight, short, backless, red, dress with cut outs around the hips and my best pair of black heels. I left my hair in it's natural curly state, and then applied eyeliner, mascara, and chap stick. I wanted to impress him.

It was already dark out by the time I left my house on my way to Buck's. When I arrived, there were clusters of guys all over the place, all of which gave me the nod and a few whistles. I strutted over to Hunter, who was sitting at the bar, and took a seat next to him. I ordered a beer, took a sip, and just stared at him for a minute. Finally, I got the courage to speak.

"Hunter, can we talk?" I whispered.
 He looked at me with confusion. "Yea... Yea, we can talk."

"Where do I begin?" I paused. "I'm sorry Hunter. I was a bitch. Sleeping with Owen... That..."
I had to stop and take a deep breath while trying to hold back tears. "That was a mistake. I reacted out of hurt and anger,and I'm not exactly sure why that was the first thing I thought of, but I'm sorry..."

Mindlessly, I reached over and touched his hand, gently caressing his skin, but jerked my hand away before he could react. He put his hands on his forehead and ordered another drink.

"I'm the one who should be sorry." He looked at his hands and then clenched them into fists. "I spend all this time promising myself that I won't turn into my father, and it's happening anyway. I will never, ever, lay my hands on you again."

I watched him as I contemplated what he said. "Just because you hit me once, doesn't mean you are or will be like your father."

He sighed and met my gaze. "I messed up. Hell, we both messed up. But I love you, Little Bird. I can't function without you. I can't even breathe."

I placed my hand on his face. "I know the feeling." I said as I kissed him lightly. "I love you too."

He pressed his forehead against mine and smiled. Suddenly, I remembered what I was wearing. I pushed him away, beaming. "Now let's go see if we can do something about that breathing issue."
He smirked and kissed me lightly on the neck, sending shivers up my spine. Oh, how I missed this. How I missed you. He slid out of his seat, taking me by the hand, and led me out of the bar to his house.  When we were safe inside the confines of his four walls, he took me into his arms. "Mmmmm." I groaned into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, I can make you do better than that." He quipped, and then kissed me passionately.

I couldn't help but repeat 'I love you' over and over in my head while he undressed me, and the making up commenced. He kissed every inch of my body, and I knew that I never wanted anyone else to touch  me the way he does ever again. I was his, he was mine, and everything in between.

Fortune Days

I laid on the floor, sprawled out like a crime scene chalk outline. My mind raced and I trembled as the drugs made their way through my veins. My vision blurred and the walls around me began to crumble and deteriorate. I tried, with all of my might to lift my head up, but my head and limbs were like bricks. That's when I began to float, I was lifted up off of the floor, and I felt so free. Now, there were no walls, no windows or doors; in its place was a huge field full of beautiful flowers swaying in the wind and basking in the sunshine. I breathed it all in. The sweet aroma filled my lungs. I glided softly through the air, skimming over the tall grass. I was finally living up to my nickname, 'little bird.'
At long last, I had escaped the haunting memories, yet there still remained a foreboding feeling that more was to come. Finally, I wound up drifting on a cloud, so soft and plush over the clearest ocean I had ever seen. This is where I wanted to be. Slowly though, the blue sky started to turn gray and I eventually woke up, drenched in sweat on my bedroom floor.
I could finally move again, though my extremities slightly tingled as my high faded. I sat up, and touched my matted, sweaty hair. I decided it was time for a shower, so I got up slowly, picked a pair of jeans, a cute shirt and some frilly underwear I had just bought from my closet, and went into my bathroom. I began to peel off what little clothing I had on and I felt the clammy skin beneath. This was the one thing I didn't like, I always felt disgusting after. I climbed into the shower, and turned on the cold water, thinking it might feel good against my hot skin. When I was finally immersed under the shower head, the iciness washed away the boiling heat and cooled me down. I just stood there allowing it to work its magic, until I heard yelling downstairs. I immediately turned off the water, lightly dried my hair, and put on the clothes I had selected earlier. I glanced at the mirror and saw the dark bags that encircled my blue eyes. I pulled some concealer and mascara from the drawer below the sink, and attempted to cover them up. They were still there, but it didn't look as bad as before. The yelling I had heard while I was in the shower continued, but I could now distinguish who it was. I made a list, Tibbs was whooping and hollering, Dal was cursing about something, Steve was being an idiot, and Soda was laughing.
They were the only ones I could hear, and luckily they were all downstairs. So I opened my door to go back to my room and clean up my mess, when I was greeted by Hunter. He smiled slyly when he saw me, and mentioned how he was too late to join me. Then he lunged at me, wrapping his arms all the way around my body. My arms were pinned to my sides and he kissed me. He then pushed me back into the bathroom, and closed the door. He gently lifted me up onto the sink counter, and continued to kiss me passionately. I could tell he had been smoking and drinking by the taste of his mouth, but the mixture of the two and his natural sweetness was too delightful to resist. He pressed between my legs, and began moving his hands down my sides. I pushed him back, "They are gonna be looking for you, and if Tibbs catches you up here like this, he will kill you." I said quietly, already wishing I hadn't.
Although I saw him everyday, I could never get enough of him. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door.

"Audrey, are you in there?" Rhyan yelled loudly through the door.

"Yeah, just a sec." I jumped down off the counter and opened the door. The look on her face was priceless. Then she laughed, as we both exited the bathroom. I then informed her I would be downstairs in a minute. The two of them walked downstairs, and I ran to my room to hide my mess. Under my bed was an ornate wooden box that my mom gave me for my birthday one year, and I called it my treasure chest. There were a few remnants of things I cherished, but now it was also where I hid my drugs and booze. After I removed all evidence of illegal substances, I joined the others downstairs. By then, everyone, except Darry, was sitting or standing in my living room. I was informed that the boys were going to the rodeo, and the girls were having a girls night out, or as Bre liked to call it, a "No Dicks Allowed Party."
Boy did we make a day of it, shopping and a movie. When it was all over it was later than what we thought, so we split up according to who lived closer to whom and began our walk home. We didn't make it very far before unwelcome hands enveloped us. They pinned Blair and Rhyan to the ground, and began their assault while Jelly and I were being held back. The smell of the one holding me was familiar, although I couldn't see his face, I knew who he was. It was a repugnant odor. You would think that with him being a Soc he would take better care of himself, but I've met strays who smelled better than he did. That's when he put his mouth to my ear and whispered, " You're next Audrey, and this time it will be even sweeter than the last."

He continued to breathe hot, alcohol coated, breath into my ear.
"But Paul," I fought to face him, and get his mouth off of me. "Don't you remember what happened last time?" I asked.
He said nothing, as I looked him in the face and continued. "Last time, Hunter kicked your ass, and now that he and I are together... He won't hesitate to kill you. That is, unless I don't do it first. And believe me, I would love nothing more than to kill you myself and feel the the thrill of victory as I watch life leave your body. That's only after I brutally mutilate you, and cut off all of your extremities, including your very tiny excuse for a dick." I spat at him just as Darry ran to our rescue. "Bitch!" He screamed while pushing me to the ground and high tailing it away from us.
"Motherfucking cunt!" I hissed back.
That's when I made up my mind that one day, I was going to kill that son of a bitch, if it was the last thing I ever did.

Somehow we all wound up back at he Curtis' and I found myself enclosed in Hunter's arms. Everyone else was yelling, but I felt like I had just been jolted from a bad dream. He held me securely within his embrace, and kissed the nape of my neck. That's when I heard there would be a rumble, and at that moment I knew I could finally have my revenge.

The day of the rumble just couldn't get there fast enough, and seeing the Sons pull up outside of the Curtis' only made me even more excited. I was ready to kill a Soc, Paul Holden to be more exact, but I heard Darry lay down the law. No killing. No weapons. That wouldn't slow me down, and now that Hunter knew that Paul was the one that grabbed me, we would be tag teaming.

The trash talking started, and I eyed Paul. "You're mine." I screamed at him, giving him a lovely hand gesture. Hunter, who was standing next to me, looked me up and down with desire. It was the first time he had seen that from me, and I'm guessing he liked it. That's when I saw one of Tim's guys punch one of the smaller Socs, and I sprinted toward Paul. I jumped on him, with one hand on his throat, a knee to the balls, and the other hand causing his jaw to crack loudly. I just keeping swinging, and alternating hands. All of my anger and hatred for him flowed out. Apparently, I blacked out, because Hunter was pulling me off of him as the rest of the Socs were running away. I couldn't believe it was over, but I was ready to party. I kissed Hunter, and told him to have fun, while I ran off with Rhyan to celebrate.

*****

The sunlit broke through my window, and I could no longer keep my eyes closed. It blinded me at first, causing my head to throb, but then I adjusted. I realized I wasn't in my bed, or even my room, but I was laying in Hunter's bed completely naked, not covered at all. At that moment, Steve walked into the room.

"Dayum, girl. Are you waiting for me?" He winked.

"Ew, what the fuck? Why are you even here? Go home, Steve." I rasped at him, my voice still scratchy from screaming last night. He turned around mumbling something under his breath and left. I started rummaging through Hunter's room for my clothes, but they were nowhere to be found. So I grabbed one of Hunter's shirts, and slipped it on along with a pair of his gym shorts.

I sat on the end of the bed, and tried to remember how I got there, where my clothes were, and why I smelled like sex when Hunter wasn't there. I vaguely remembered kissing someone. It wasn't Hunter, it was someone different. A wave of panic washed over me.

Who did I kiss? I thought, and then another blurry memory came to mind. I was moaning loudly, and had my hand in their hair. It was longer than Hunter's and I looked down. It was a girl massaging my sex. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

I pretty much cheated on Hunter with a girl! I had sex with a girl! But who? My stomach turned, and I couldn't hold it back. I started vomiting on the floor, and the retching just wouldn't stop. I, Audrey Averlan Mathews, had sex with a girl, and I liked it? The thought made me heave even harder.