"Daddy! Do you like my story and picture? I did it just for you!"
I looked up at his face beaming with confidence and exuberance over my small story and picture of he and I, but when I saw his eyes, they were sad despite the fact that he was smiling. Suddenly, my joy began to fade.
"You don't like it." I whispered as tears filled my eyes. His arms were around me in an instant.
"Audrey, darling. My beautiful, little angel, look at daddy." I obeyed. "You are my little girl and I love you. Your picture and your story is perfect. I will cherish it always." I hugged him, and he kissed my forehead.
That's the last time I saw him. When he left, I didn't understand why he left us, but I remained optimistic for years that he would return. The moment I saw him standing at our door, my heart almost jumped out of my chest, and sadness that I had never felt before reverberated through my body and I felt sick. I just had to let him in. Two-Bit hated him and Blair refused to be in the same room with him, but I ... I just needed to know why. Why if I was his little angel- why he left me, us. He told me before that I never did anything wrong, however, the older I got, the more I knew he had lied to me. If I was so all-fired important he wouldn't have left like that, but I needed him with me. All little girls need a father, a loving father, and the little girl inside me reared her head in longing for her daddy. Although, I'd never be able to ask him what I needed to. So I allowed him to speak, and showed him where he could sleep. Blair and Tibbs had locked themselves away in their rooms, remaining unseen. Let's face it they were both probably gone, especially after the way Tibbs yelled at him.
So the house remained hauntingly quiet.
The silence was everywhere, and no matter how much I tried to cover it up and mask it by keeping busy; nothing changed. I hadn't been sleeping and the silence gave my mind too much freedom to think. Even books didn't help, and it started to gnaw at me. So I swiftly grabbed my jacket and climbed out of my window. When I reached the ground, I began to run as fast and as hard as I could. The wind felt good on my face, as it was uncommonly cold for April. It had been running and normally I didn't go at night, especially not alone, but my house was too quiet to drown out my racing thoughts. I began to push myself harder- testing my limits and that's when I saw their house. I brought myself to an abrupt halt that sent me toppling over into the yard. Immediately, I jumped up and began scaling the side of the house. When I reached the second floor, I crawled into a little alcove on the roof and tapped on the window. I could see someone stirring inside. As they approached, the light of the moon lit up the striking features of his face. Slowly, he slid up the window and allowed me to come inside.
"Something wrong?" He asked with his voice slightly raspy. He stared at me sleepily with his hair falling in his face. I shook my head in response.
"Too quiet?" He asked while pulling me into his arms, and with my face in the crook of his neck, I nodded.
Everything about him had a comforting effect on me. His touch, his voice, his smell, his intense gaze, the warmth of his skin, his embrace; all of it made me feel safe and at peace, but at the same time he awakened that desire for him. In spite of the carnal hunger that was growing inside of me, I just wasn't in the mood to be intimate with him. My mind and body were past the point of exhaustion. I just needed him to hold me while I slept, and it was like he could read my mind. He turned tentatively, pulling me by the hand and laid down on the bed. As he slid his arms around me, pulling me into him, I could feel his erection, and it was like a switch had been flipped in my head. My exhaustion went away, and I was unable to control the sensation within me. I rolled over to face him, and placed his free hand in my pants. He chuckled and made some sarcastic remark about being tired, but I shut him up when I pressed my lips firmly against his. He couldn't refuse, and I knew he didn't want to. My body trembled with excitement, as he worked to pull off my sweats. I bit his bottom lip playfully, and it was only a matter of seconds until silky, smooth skin of fire was pressed together in an intimate embrace. It didn't take long for our exhaustion to catch up with us and when the climax came we both faded into what felt like a sex-induced coma.
The next morning, I awoke to Hunter lightly kissing my neck. All that was covering our nakedness was one thin sheet, as everything else was in the floor. He pulled me against him and his body heat radiated from him- warming even my toes. He kissed me so sweetly and pushed the hair from my eyes. He shifted his weight on top of me and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Mmmmm..." He groaned into my ear as our hip movements were in perfect time. He kissed me, and I moaned into him so no one would hear. That's when the door flew open and Dawn barged in. We both jumped away from one another, and I pulled the sheet up to my face. When she finally realized that Hunter and I were in bed together, she threw her hands over her eyes.
"AHHHHHHH! EW! EW! EW! MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN! MAKE IT STOP! She ran out of the room, still yelling about being sick and scarred for life.
Hunter got up and went to close the door while I began the search for my clothes. Just as I pulled up my pants, he wrapped his arms around me from behind.
"Now who said you could put those back on?" He whispered into my ear.
I giggled, "I should probably go. Dawn will have everyone here trying to see if it's really true, and I'm sure Tibbs has figured out I'm gone."
I pulled my shirt over my head and turned to kiss him. His kiss was sweet and gentle, but with an underlying persistence. I didn't want to stop, but I knew I had to. I pushed him back and looked into his eyes. Suddenly, a lump formed in my throat, and I had to push back tears. I was fighting with myself. I wanted to be with Hunter, but I knew him all too well. I was scared to give him my heart, but in reality he has had it all along. I was falling head over heels for him, and there was really nothing I could do to stop it. But did I really want to?
With that, I turned and left, crawling back out of the window in which I entered, and ran back to my house. When I arrived, Rhyan's car was parked outside. I walked through the front door, and up the stairs to my room where I knew she would be. As I entered, I could see her lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. She sat up slowly when I appeared in the doorway. I pushed the door closed behind me, and took a seat next to her on the bed, staring at my hands in my lap.
"I wondered when you would show up." I mumbled nervously, completely unable to look at her.
"Well with everything going on, we just had to kinda push it aside."
"Yeah, I know, and I can't say that I've made myself available for it either." I replied, wringing my hands anxiously.
Neither of us said anything, so we sat for a moment in complete silence until she finally spoke up.
"I was mad that you ran off with Owen, and frustrated that neither one of you would answer my calls. I was upset that you both did something so stupid... But mostly I was was scared Audrey. I'm used to Owen being this way, but not you. You're the one I run to when I don't know what else to do, but you weren't here." She was now standing, and began pacing the length of my room.
"I didn't purposefully do something stupid. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I mean, I know Owen is messed up, but I didn't know we would wind up there, or that I would be attacked and everything else..." My voice trailed off- I couldn't say what I wanted to, and I pushed all of those horrific images from my mind, still refusing to deal with them.
Not now...I thought to myself.
"You could have at least told me where you were... I didn't know if you were still in the country or not. If something worse had happened, how would we ever have found out what happened to you?" She questioned, her tone escalating.
"Yeah, I should have called. I should've told someone where I was going, but I didn't think we would be gone long. It was a mistake Rhyan, and no one knows that better than I do." I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper, I felt like a child being chastised, and I couldn't help but be ashamed. I was always submissive in that sense, but I suddenly allowed all of the guilt that I had been pushing away to settle in.
"I don't know, I guess it was just a time in my life when I needed my best friend. When I got with Dallas, you were the first person I wanted to tell... When I left him... You were the one that I wanted to come crying to, and by the time California came we weren't really on speaking terms and I was going insane inside; leaving me as an emotional mess on the outside, and all I really needed was my best friend." She took a seat next to me again, and what she said hit me.
"Wait, what? What do you mean you got with Dallas? And then you left him? I know you kissed him the other day after school, but you slept with Dallas?" I was shocked.
She blushed slightly, "Oh... yeah, I guess you don't know about that yet..."
"Uhh, no? Explain please."
"Okay, well to make it short... Randy jumped me, leaving me passed out floating in the lake, Dallas saved me. I woke up half naked with him on my couch... And then it just sort of... happened. And everything was... Great, perfect even. Until Hunter called and explained the situation to me and then I did what I always do. I put my life on hold for Owen's sake and left Dallas brokenhearted in my driveway at 3 AM."
I sat there in awe and was unable to conjugate sentences. I just reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Rhyan... I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. How are things now?"
She looked at me.
"Really great actually."
I smiled tentatively and she reciprocated. Without warning, the awkward tension between us dissipated, and warmth returned to her smile.
"So, was it all it's hyped up to be?" I winked and her cheeks flushed. We both erupted in a fit of giggles. Her grin widened.
"Oh... even better." She laughed, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
The laughter continued and before I could stop myself, my subconscious spit out my latest secret.
"I slept with Hunter." I said and watched her response.
Her mouth dropped open, "What?"
"We've always been really close. We would sleep in the same bed and cuddle and what not, but he kissed me... Like really kissed me before we left for California, and we wound up naked but nothing happened. Then, while we were at your house in Cali, we found out that our rooms were adjoined and it just escalated. Ya know?"
Her expression changed. "You had sex in my house?"
I stared at her.
"Ohhh Rhyan," I said giving her a funny look. "I didn't premeditate it. It just happened. It was..." I looked down at my lap again, "It was my first time."
"How was it?" She inquired enthusiastically , and squeezed my hand in response.
"Well, it didn't really hurt like I thought it would, and it was... HOT, actually. I mean, I didn't think it was possible to feel that, or for sex to be as passionate and as loving as that..." I stated, trying to cover the quiver in my voice.
She cocked her head to the side.
"Why would you think that?"
I could feel her gaze, but I refused to look at her. I couldn't. I knew that the moment I did, the tears would be endless. "...Because." I said flatly.
She persisted, "Because why, Audrey?" Adding emphasis to my name.
"Rhyan, I can't...." I was now whispering.
"You need to tell someone Audrey... who better than your best friend?"
I knew she was right, but I had never told anyone about that. No one but Hunter, that is, and I was so afraid. That moment had altered my life forever, leaving scars in its wake.
"I know, but it's just not something I want to relive." I mumbled.
"Well you know I'm here to listen if you want to tell somebody. Personally it's easier for me not to bottle it up."
That's when the tears started to flow like a waterfall. Everything that had happened to me sank in, and before I could stop myself, my subconscious spilled the beans again.
"Paul Holden raped me around the time that you and Owen moved here. That's why Hunter was in trouble for putting him in the hospital and no one knew why he did it. He discovered it, because I couldn't scream or fight because I was terrified, and he was covering my mouth. I have never seen Hunter so angry, and I convinced him not to kill him, because I knew he would. Paul took something from me that day that I can never get back, and I have lived with that and its effects everyday since then." I was now crying uncontrollably, as images of that night flashed through my mind.
She wrapped her arms around me tightly, "Audrey, how could you not tell anyone? Holy shit. I'm sorry... I can't imagine how terrible that must be..." She choked, now crying with me.
I didn't respond for a while. I was too overwhelmed. I had finally told someone other than Hunter, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
After several minutes, I was finally able to speak. "I don't know.... Hunter wouldn't have known if he hadn't been the one to save me. I just didn't want anyone to know." I wiped my eyes, and pulled away to face her.
She thought for a second. "So what are you and Hunter, exactly?"
"Well we aren't dating if that's what you're asking, but it's more than just friends with benefits."
"Kinda looks like you;re dating.... You're always holding hands or have your arms around each other. The gangs kinda noticed."
I blushed. "Umm... yeah... I know... But... Hunter isn't the "relationship" type... Ya know?"
"And what about Owen? It kinda seems like there's a hidden something there."
I made a face in disgust.
"He kissed me, and tried to get me to have sex with him, but we didn't. I really haven't talked to him much since all of that happened." I said as I held up my hand symbolizing Scout's honor.
"Good," She laughed, "Cause Owen doesn't deserve you."
"Why do you say that?" I asked slightly confused.
"Cause... You deserve better than someone who sleeps around and is involved in the cartel. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but... You gotta admit he's not the best." She stated.
"Yeah, and Hunter is?" I replied sarcastically.
I love him! I thought, and I cringed for a moment. I had to make other people think that I wasn't. Maybe, if I did that, then I could convince myself the same, but I wanted to love him.
Damn!
"...Good point! Damn Audrey, you can do way better." She laughed.
"Well at least he isn't a complete asshole like Owen. No offense." I blurted out.
Her mouth dropped open again, and then burst into laughter because that was the first time she had ever heard me curse. Honestly, it was the first time I had ever cursed out loud, period.
"Damn girl, don't hold back," She said still laughing, "But I agree."
We finished our little talk, and we filled each other in on details. I could see by the way she looked at me that she knew my secret about Hunter, but I would never fess up. And there was still a smidgen of worry hidden beneath it all. I knew that what I had told her about Paul made her even more concerned about me, because now she knew that I didn't tell her everything, and I kept things from people, including her. When she left, I was again plagued with silence, because I had the house entirely to myself. I was left alone with memories of Paul Holden committing his obscene act, and my hidden love for Hunter. I laid on my bed, clutching my pillow to my chest, and sobbed until I fell asleep.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Carousel
I've allowed myself to be free. I let my heart take flight, but my actions have proved to be chains holding me captive. They ripped me right out of the sky. I sat wondering why I ignored that gentle nudge of my conscience. Why I had done things that were mindless and irresponsible. Most of my friends would say its out of character for me. They've often called me cautious or guarded, and for the most part I was. However, there were times when I would throw caution to the wind and do whatever it was that I felt like doing. Yes, it felt good to be bad and it had slowly become something I craved more and more frequently. Because of that, it became more evident in my actions, my speech, and sometimes even my appearance.
Although I was so angry at Owen for involving me with his petty crimes, I secretly enjoyed the feeling it gave me. It was an adrenaline rush I had never experienced before. It caused me to burn with excitement and it felt as if this was who I was meant to be all along.
I wanted to be bad, edgy, and sexy, but to myself and everyone else I was the exact opposite. I was often described as adorable, and with the name "Little Bird" it made it increasingly harder to convince others that I could be those things. I knew that was why I went to the extreme and did something so reckless. Yet still, with such a burning desire to be that bad girl, I was terrified and a part of me still yearned to be pure. Something I hadn't been in a very long time. It was that innocence that caused those around me to love me, but sometimes I felt like they saw me as weak and unable to fend for myself. I was faced with an internal dilemma. I needed to know who I was and who I really wanted to be, because I was unsure and wanted completely different things. I was confused about everything including who I should like, who I should hang around and how I should behave.
Before heading to California, I had several days to spend some time alone. The main reason for that being that a lot of people were mad at me. They all told me that I could have been killed, yet they refused to recognize that I handled myself. I did what was necessary. Yes, I got hurt, but what "could have been" didn't happen and they refused to get over it. Despite all of that, Dawn and Hunter didn't treat me any differently. So after spending most of my days reading, I would spend what remained of my day with the Cades.
Dawn and I were still as close as ever, and I was now able to spend a lot more time with her. She could turn any situation into something positive and defuse tension with comic relief.
Mostly we sat and talked or watched TV, every now and then we would go for a walk. It was those moments when we were around Hunter that I could feel something had changed. He would skulk in corners and watch me with those intense eyes of his. He reminded me of a guard dog keeping watch over their owner. It made me slightly uncomfortable at times, so one night, before we left for Spring Break, they stayed the night at my house. Dawn, Blair and I had been up late that night watching TV in Blair's room and they fell asleep way before I did. My stomach had long since been grumbling, so I headed downstairs to find something to eat. I nearly forgot that Hunter was sleeping on our couch until he jerked his head up at the sound of me on the stairs.
"Audrey?!" He rasped.
I knew I had startled him, and it made me laugh.
"Yeah, calm down you goon. I'm just gettin' some food." I stated turning the corner into the kitchen and flipping on the light.
I began rummaging through our fridge and cabinets trying to see what looked the best. Finally, I decided on some leftover chex mix I found in the back of our pantry. When I turned around to leave the kitchen, Hunter was standing right behind me.
"Jesus!" I yelled, "What the crap do you think you're doing?! What's your problem lately?"
I pushed him out of the way, and began making my way to the stairs. That's when I heard the faint whisper of him calling my name. It was so soft and barely audible but it was enough to make my knees weak. I stopped, and slowly turned to face him.
He was looking at the ground, and was shuffling his feet. I never noticed just how muscular he was.
Maybe it's just the lighting. I thought.
He looked up at me and made direct eye contact.
Oh dang... Was all that went through my mind. Those eyes. Immediately a knot formed in my stomach and I felt a tightness in my chest.
He moved toward me placing his hands on my waist. I suddenly felt naked, even though I was wearing what I usually wore to bed, a sports bra and shorts. His hands were like fire on my skin, it was tantalizing. I could feel his breath, hot and heavy. He just kept staring at me. No, he was staring into me. He was searching for something, a glimmer of emotion. That's when his usual smirk appeared on his face.
"Hmmm, so you like that?" He laughed.
I stepped back, pulling away from him.
"You wish I did." I retorted. If he was going to tease, I was going to do it right back. I walked backwards to the door, smiling. But when I turned my back and ran up the stairs, the smile on my face quickly faded.
His touch, the way he looked at me and the sound of my name as it rolled off of his tongue awakened something in me. A flame had ignited, and soon I knew I would no longer be able to resist him. I knew I would be consumed by desire and what I desired was to be consumed by him. A new sensation erupted deep within me. Like a volcano of pure, sensuous pleasure. My body ached for him as that fire reached places I had never felt that before. It was more than simple lust. It was now an invigorating necessity to belong solely to him. To be possessed by him. He had unlocked something hidden within me that would never go away, and all it took was the mere touch of his hand.
I went to my room and closed the door. With my back against the wall I had to catch my breath.
What just happened? I thought. I had never felt anything like that before. When Owen touched me I felt almost nothing. Of course it felt good but I had never felt that overwhelming sensation of desire.
An image of our bodies pressed together and his lips on my neck flashed through my mind. My skin was on fire, and those erogenous zones were throbbing, longing for touch. I was tempted to run back downstairs, climb on top of him and make love to him on the couch, but I resisted. I refused. I had to. I know that with him it would be different than with anyone else, and it would actually mean something. I just could not allow myself to feel that way about someone and more specifically Hunter.
How foolish I am! I mumbled to myself.
Why could I not make up my mind about what or who I wanted? I think I more loved the idea of Soda, because he was the perfect guy. Owen was your full on bad boy who is haunted by his past, but in no way desires to change. And Hunter, he was a pleasant mixture of the two. He was obviously imperfect, and flawed. He was impulsive, and he liked to hide things from me. He liked sex... A lot. He never really said how he felt, and when he did say things it always came out wrong. Yet, all of those things were so intriguing. His flaws magnified his strong points and made him almost irresistible. Most girls, couldn't handle him because they didn't take time to get to know him. Typically they wanted in his pants and they got upset when he did something that was interpreted as mean. I, however, knew that his loyalty to his family and friends was unprecedented. He was headstrong and independent. He was loving and affectionate, but in a way that was entirely his own. He was perfectly imperfect and it was great. That one concept induced a irrefutable comfort that was unmatched and irreplaceable. He was irreplaceable.
He had been a staple of continuity and a pillar of strength throughout my entire life, and we had never talked about anything more than friendship. In some ways I wanted to take a step forward, but at the same time I knew that Hunter was not the relationship type and I didn't know if I wanted the added complication of a "non-relationship relationship."
I heard footsteps on the landing outside my door causing me to snap back into reality. I cracked my door slightly and peeked out only to see Hunter standing at the top of the stairs looking right at me. My heart raced, and I opened the door farther, letting him know he could come in. He said nothing, entered the room, and locked the door behind him.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to come up here." I whispered, barely able to speak.
He smirked.
Oh dear God, he is sexy. I thought.
My body was trembling, and with my good hand, I reached out. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and lightly dragged my fingertips downward so I could feel every contour of his muscular arm. I drew in a quick shallow breath, and moved to him, placing my head in the crook of his neck. He slid his arms around me in response, holding me tightly against his chest. The warmth of his body almost had a melting effect. All of my muscles loosened, and I relaxed. The pain from my broken wrist faded as I became focused on him. His smell was intoxicating. It was the smell of cigarettes, and a slight musk mixed with a hint of sweat. Trying to figure out what it was made it sound disgusting, but the smell of his skin drove me insane. I could feel his hand move up my back slowly as if he was trying to tease me. It gave me the chills, and I knew he could feel the goosebumps I had all over. As he reached my shoulder he moved to my chest. Lightly tracing my collarbone inward to the base of my throat. He moved his hand up and tilted my head back slightly. With his thumb he pulled on my bottom lip, and then slipped his hand into my hair. He tightened his grip and pulled it just enough to make my head go back farther and to the side, as well as press my body further into his. He bent down and started kissing my shoulder, making his way inwards and to the sensitive areas of my neck. His other hand had a firm hold on my butt, and I dug my fingers into his back attempting to keep myself from falling. I was breathing heavy and I just wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to touch me. If I let him, it would be the first time I would have willingly had sex. I had never done that before by my own choice, and he knew that. His mouth now on my jawline, I couldn't stop myself from saying what came to my mind.
"Hunter, kiss me." I begged.
He pulled back and looked at me. His eyes sparkled for just a moment.
"Why?" He laughed.
"Because I want you to."
"I know you do." He smiled and bent to kiss my cheek making his way to my mouth. He kissed all around my mouth avoiding it entirely until I had finally had enough. He began to pull back but I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, got a handful of his hair, and pulled him to me.
"Oh..." He mumble before I pressed my lips firmly against his. He inhaled deeply and responded in the best way possible. With one swift movement, I was in his arms still kissing me. We made our way to the bed and laid me softly on my back without letting go or removing his lips from mine. His kiss made me forget everything. It was almost like floating. It was entirely euphoric and his hands gently caressed every inch of my skin. I don't remember exactly when or how it happened, but we both wound up naked. Although we were close enough that sex was the most obvious step but we just laid there. Completely enveloped in the other and lightly tracing circles on each other's skin.
"I know what would be expected in this situation, but I..." My voice trailed off.
He kissed me again keeping me from saying anything more.
"I know you want allllll of this," he said as he pushed his hips into mine, "but we can wait as long as you like. I don't mind it. Not at all." He whispered into my ear.
Suddenly there was a sound on the stairs coming from Blair's room, and a light tapping on my door.
"Audrey? Are you in there? Can you open the door please?" Dawn spoke lightly.
"Oh shit!" He said as he scrambled to grab clothes.
I showed him where to hide while I pulled on an over sized t-shirt that was laying on my floor.
I cracked the door open and saw her standing there.
"Hey," She said as she pushed past me. "What took you so long? Were you asleep?"
I said nothing.
"Hey have you seen Hunter? He wasn't downstairs, and the car to take us to the airport will be here soon, and I needed to ask him something."
I felt my face turn red, but I still said nothing. Dawn continued to gather her things that were thrown around my room. When she was finished, I heard a honk outside, and she turned to me.
"Audrey? Are you ready?"
"Oh, uh, yeah give me just a second. Y'all go ahead." I stated, looking for pants and my already packed bag.
Hunter rolled out from under my bed, and sighed.
"I thought she would never leave." He laughed. I almost didn't want to go. I didn't want to deal with what I had done. I really wanted my life to go back to the way it was. Except for this, Me and Hunter, that is. I liked it, and it just felt right. Hunter and I ran down the stairs to the front door. He was carrying my bag, and he stopped to pick up his. Blair came down to see Two-Bit and I off.
The expression on her face was one of abandonment. I know she was upset that we were leaving her here by herself since mom and Fred went AWOL, but it wasn't like we were going to party all week. It was business, and I would much rather be able to stay in my small house, but that was no longer an option. She gave me a hug, and told us to be safe. Just as we were climbing into the car, Dallas rode up on his motorcycle to watch Blair. She didn't need a babysitter, and even if she did we wouldn't call Dallas, but Tibbs and I really wanted someone to be there for her and make sure she was safe. Dawn, Hunter, Tibbs and myself rode off in a shiny black sedan to the airport. They all talked and laughed, but the brevity of what awaited me in California weighed heavily on my mind. I was lost in my thoughts until Hunter, whom had been holding my hand the whole car ride, kissed the top of it and drove away the mental fog that engulfed me. I looked at him and smiled. Dawn and Tibbs gave each other a strange look, but shrugged it off and climbed out of the car. Bre, Owen and Rhyan were standing next to another car no different from the one we arrived in. That's when we saw the big, black jet sitting there by itself on the tarmac. We oohed and awed, marveling at the luxurious aircraft we were traveling in. As everyone settled in, I quickly found the bedroom in the back. Everyone else may have slept, but I was too preoccupied with Hunter that I didn't sleep at all. After take off, I laid down and tried to take a nap, but Owen crept into the room and crawled in bed next to me. The lights were off and I was unable to see. He snuggled up next to me and slid his hand up my shirt grabbing my breast. I groaned a little and moved closer to him. He kissed my neck.
"Hunter, what if someone comes in?"
His hands jerked back.
"Hunter?! What the fuck?" Owen yelled.
"Owen! What the crap are you doing?" I began to panic. This was something I had not been expecting.
"Why the fuck would you think I was Hunter? Have you been screwing around behind my back?" He bellowed. He was now standing next to the bed, and the others were now crowding into the room.
"What's going on in here?" Hunter asked as he made his way around Bre.
Owen spun around and punched Hunter in the jaw.
"What the hell is wrong with you man?!" He yelled at Owen.
"Owen! What the fuck?" Bre shrieked. They all ran to Hunter's aid.
"Owen why are you acting like we are a couple? We never have been nor will we ever be!" I declared, flipping on the light.
He jumped on the bed, and pinned me down.
Hunter and Two-Bit rushed to pull him off of me, and Rhyan punched him in the back of the head.
"Take him out there. There is a sedative in the drawer to the left. Give him that. He'll be fine." She turned to me. "Are you alright?"
I nodded still in shock. She walked over slowly, wrapped on arm around me, and kissed the top of my head. Then she left, closing the door behind her.
I sat there, tears streaming down my face. Then Dawn and Hunter came in. He crawled behind me and put his arms around me.
We sat there until we landed. Hunter and Tibbs had to help Owen off of the plane, and then we saw the giant house where Rhyan and Owen grew up. It was like something you would see in a movie. It was ornate, and lavishly decorated. It sat right on the edge of a cliff with a gorgeous view of the ocean. I fell in love immediately, and tried to take it all in. Their housekeeper, Daniella, showed everyone to their rooms, and then returned later with Rhyan to take our orders for Chinese take out. That night we all sat around and talked, minus Owen because he ran off into town as soon as we got there, and everything seemed somewhat normal. I knew eventually I would have to talk to Rhyan about everything that was going on. The way she looked at me, and the sad look in her eye showed a glimpse of heartache, but I knew she wasn't ready to tell me.
Eventually, everyone went off to their rooms to take showers, and go to sleep. I think more than anything, we all just wanted to mess around with our rooms we were staying in. I heard Tibbs and Dawn talking about searching for secret passage ways. So when I finally got to my room and took a shower, I really didn't want to put clothes on. I just wanted to sit around naked, and I had a lock on the door that actually seemed to work, but I decided to just throw on a huge t shirt, just in case. Just as soon as I did, I heard a noise behind me. Startled, I jumped backwards and grabbed the closest thing to me that I could throw, which in my case was the TV remote.
"Who's there?!" I managed to choke out.
That's when Hunter emerged from the shadows.
"Whoa, there." He laughed. "What were you planning on doing? Bludgeoning me to death with a plastic TV remote?"
He walked closer to me, and I dropped it, letting down my guard.
"Ha. Ha. You just scared me, and that just so happened to be the closest projectile object. How did you get in here?" I asked.
He slipped his hands into mine, and was standing so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his skin.
"I'll show you." He whispered.
We walked to the far corner of the room that still remained in shadows, and pulled on what looked like a normal bookshelf, which then opened like a door. Still holding hands, we went through the door, and entered Hunter's room. Somehow, he had already managed to make a mess, and it reminded of his room back home. I just gave him a look.
"What? I don't like to live out of a suitcase. Plus, this makes me feel really comfortable." He stated.
"So," I said, "It looks like we have adjoining rooms. I'm just gonna have to find a way to lock you out." I attempted to turn back to my room, but he wouldn't let go of my hand.
"Uh uh, where do you think you're going?" He smirked.
Oh God, here it comes. I can't resist that look. Please, not the look. I thought to myself as he began wrapping his arms around me.
"I want to tell you something." He said quietly. I just stood there. I had no idea what was about to come next, and I almost didn't want to, but he kept talking before I could stop him.
"I know that you and I have known each other our entire lives, and I know that we have always been just friends, but there has always been something between the two of us that we never could place our fingers on. I know this might seem out of character for me, but I'm hoping that you know me like I think you do and won't be shocked by what I am about to say." He took a deep breath. "Okay here goes. So you and I both know that I have never been the relationship type, but I can't help but feel the way I about you. You're so damn beautiful in every way. I've watched over you since we were young, and I've seen how much more beautiful you are everyday. There has always been something inside of me that has compelled me to protect you. Like it was somehow letting me know that you were something so precious, and you needed me to guard you. I love how quiet you are, but when you speak not only can you put everyone to shame with your extremely large vocabulary and wit, but you have this charm about you. It's almost like you are enchanting everyone who hears your voice. I know this sounds stupid, but please, I'm almost done. I know I've never told you, and maybe I should have a long time ago, but I never really wanted to say it more than I did the moment you called me about Owen. I know he and I are friends, I mean hell, he took me to the hospital the other night when one of the Brumley's shot me, but he's an idiot, and he only really cares about himself. So when the two of you went missing, I feared the worse, and then when I saw his number on the dial, I thought you were dead. That moment when I saw you, you were all I could think about. I care for Owen, but I care so much more for you. You are everything that I want, and everything I know I can never really have because regardless of how wonderful you are and how we are growing closer in ways I never thought possible, I just can't see myself in a relationship. But dammit Audrey, I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I know that I'm asking you to settle, but I hope that there is some way you could take the love I have for you, and just simply return it. And that for now, just for now, this, my love, will be enough. I'm sorry that's so pathetic, but dammit it's the way that I feel. I know I should have said it long before now, but I'm saying it now, so there." He stopped abruptly, and starred at me with inquisitive eyes waiting for my response, and studying my face for any sort of reaction.
That's when I did it. I closed my eyes, and jumped on him. I placed my lips on him and kissed him. It was like suddenly that fire that I had felt before had now engulfed me. There was no stopping it. The next thing I know we are on the floor naked, once again, but this time we weren't just stopping to embrace the other. This time, we were so consumed by our desire that we knew exactly what to do. I bucked my hips into his, causing him to go deeper. I couldn't control myself, and I was no longer aware of my surroundings. All that I knew was that, I loved him, and it was just the two of us expressing that in a way that was so natural. Both of us were moaning and breathing heavily. I knew that there was no better way for this to happen. It was perfect. When we were both finished, he collapsed next to me, trying to catch his breath. We were both sweaty, with racing hearts, and messy hair. I turned to look at him.
"Hunter, I love you too and you are more than enough for me." And with that, we were lost again. Making love all through the night until our bodies just couldn't go on.
We awoke later in the afternoon to squeals and laughter downstairs. We decided that it was probably best that we both took a shower, closed the secret passage way, and went downstairs separately. It's not that we were embarrassed by being with one another, but that we weren't even sure how we would answer any one's questions.
Rhyan told us it was just a day to relax, so everyone went swimming. Owen was still gone, and we had yet to meet their father. I assumed that all of this was normal, and Rhyan's behavior only confirmed my suspicions. However, several times throughout the day, Hunter and I would sneak away to be alone for a little bit, and then quietly slip back in with the rest of them like we were never gone. At some point during one of our little rendezvous' Rhyan had gone to the store by herself to pick up a few things. She returned three hours later with Owen, and she was absolutely livid.
"SON OF A BITCH!OWEN! Why the hell would you tell him that I was here? You knew he would tell Gemma, and that I would have to go see her, and OF COURSE, I would be coerced to go to one of their fucking parties! He had two prospects grab be off the street like a kidnapping so he could tell me what a horrible person I am for not telling him that I was in town and that his mother missed me! Damn you Owen!" She shouted. That's when her father walked in. He was extremely attractive and I could tell where Owen got his good looks.
"What are you so upset about? Can't you be civil, and act like a decent human being without throwing some sort of temper tantrum every time you're home?" He spoke so smooth and calmly that it was almost easy to ignore the fact he just insulted her in front of us.
"It's about damn time you showed your face. I don't even get a hello now? Well, I love you too DAD. Or wait, are you still my father, cause you sure as hell don't act like one! Have you lost your damn phone, or have you started screening my calls now too?" She continued.
He glared at her. I hadn't noticed the two empty bottles of vodka that he was holding until he had finally descended from the stairs.
"That's enough." He stated, still calm.
"You don't fucking tell me what's enough! If you want to act like a grown-up then fine, have you done anything you were supposed to? You know... in getting the lawyer to meet with your son so he won't go to jail? Which by the way, he's just like you. A fucking asshole. And if you don't mind, I'm going to my room because I just got sucked into going to the see the fucking Sons, and one of their GOD DAMN parties! Grow some balls!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs as she stormed upstairs.
Rhyan told us to go have fun that she just needed to spend some time alone. Her father was still lingering around giving some suggestive looks to me, Dawn and Bre. He finally approached us.
"Alright, so who are you lovely ladies?" He asked kissing the tops of all our hands.
Bre giggled, "I'm Breanna Parker. Most call me Bre, but some call me Bren. It's up to you." He smiled and looked at Dawn.
"The names Dawn Cade, just Dawn I'm fine." And then his eyes were on me. It made me so uncomfortable.
"Um, I'm Audrey. Audrey Mathews." I mumbled.
His eyes got wide.
"Ahhh, so you're Audrey..." He said as if he suddenly had an epiphany.
"I've heard A LOT about you. You seem to have gotten yourself mixed up with my idiot son. Tell me Ms. Mathews, how does a girl so beautiful AND intelligent get involved with an empty headed delinquent like that?" He asked gesturing to Owen who was out of earshot.
I looked down.
"With all due respect Mr. Thatcher, Owen does have some redeemable qualities, and might not act out as much as he does if only someone, like you- his father, took the time to see that for themselves." I stated. Bre and Dawn's mouths hung open in shock. I was being disrespectful, but I didn't mind. He shouldn't say things like that about his own son. I'm sure it's mostly his fault for Owen's behavior anyway.
"Ahhh feisty. I like that. I tell you what," he moved closer and wrapped his huge hand around my wrist,"why don't you and I see just how feisty you can be." He looked at Dawn and Bre, "You can join if you'd like. You're all so beautiful. We could have a great time." That's when Rhyan rounded the corner into the room.
"Wyatt, get your hands off my friends and leave them alone. Don't be such a skeeze. They aren't even legal for crying out loud. Piss off."
As he walked away, I thought I heard him say "Yeah like that's ever stopped me before."
Rhyan apologized and sent us off to the theatre room to watch movies and play games all night. However, Hunter and I played a few games of our own.
The next day, I got up kind of early, and decided to go see if Rhyan was awake. I walked to her room and opened the door without even thinking to knock. When I looked inside, I saw Rhyan sitting on the edge of her bed locking lips with and extremely attractive, blonde, biker. From some of the pictures Rhyan had showed me, he looked like her ex, Jax Teller. I was shocked, and my unexpected presence startled them as well. I wasn't sure what to do, I went back and forth trying to decide whether or not to leave and finally said, "I'll come back." I shut the door and ran down the hallway to Hunter's room. I immediately climbed in bed with him, and tried to get what I had seen out of my mind. I didn't understand it at all. Rhyan made it sound like she hated him, but I knew he was her first love. That's when Hunter woke up, and was a little too excited for such an early hour.
Later that day we all got dressed up in grungy biker chic to go to the infamous Sons party. I was nervous. Yeah, we parties as a gang back in Tulsa, but that was out gang. With the exception of Rhyan and Owen, the rest of us had grown up with one another. It wasn't a big deal when got together and had a kegger or a shindig. We were used to it and comfortable with it. However, the only people in this group who knew the Sons were Rhyan and Owen. They had told us enough about them to know that we should be afraid, but that we would also have a good time because they knew how to party. On our way over Hunter let me know that he was going to watch overe, but he still wanted to party. I reassured him and told him not to fret and have fun.
When we arrived, we were greeted by the one and only Gemma Teller-Morrow, and her husband Clay Morrow. The sexy blonde I had seen Rhyan making out with earlier that morning was indeed Jax, and we were then introduced to everyone else.
Pretty soon the music was bumping and the alcohol was flowing. I had so much on my mind that I started to drink way more than what I usually did. My mind became so foggy, and I could hear myself slurring my words but I didn't care. The room started to spin, and walking felt like an Olympic sport, so I found a seat next to a cute Latino that they called, Juice, who was passing around a blunt. I was so wasted at that point I couldn't think straight enough to say no. So there I was high as a kite and hammered as a nail when the pretty blonde came over to me.
"You're names Audrey?" He asked
"Yep. Who's yours?" I replied.
He laughed, "I'm Jax. I kinda met you earlier today."
"You're the sexy one. I like your beard, and your leather cut. It's manly, and rugged. I want to kiss it. Your beard, that is. Is that weird?" I rambled. I could t stop myself.
"Not at all. You wanna go somewhere private?" He asked taking my hand.
I nodded, or at least I think I did because he smiled and started leading me to a back room that had a very large bed in it.
"It smells like pussy in here." I said in disgust. Now that I was drunk, anything and everything that popped into my head went spilling out.
He reached into a drawer, and pulled out some colorful pills.
"Here." He said handing me a few, "Take these. They'll help you relax."
I popped them in my mouth, and swallowed. He sat me down on the bed, and climbed on top of me. He began kissing me, and all I could feel was his beard on my face. I suddenly realized what I was doing but at that point it was too late. My vision started to darken around the edges, but bright flashes of neon colors flashed through the middle. I was drifting, drifting away from my body. I was riding on a turtle through the clouds. The stars began to twinkle and turned to shiny little diamonds. The sun and the moon came to talk to me, and they sang me such a lovely little song. Suddenly, I started to shake, and the moon started screaming my name "AUDREY!" He repeated over and over again. Just when I thought the shaking would stop, it became more and more violent.
"AUDREY! WAKE UP!" He yelled again.
"Calm down." I stated. I felt like I was talking in slow motion.
The shaking continued until a violent wave of nausea washed over me and I started vomiting uncontrollably. That's when I "woke up." Everyone was staring at me. I could feel their eyes burning holes into my skin.
Rhyan was next to me, holding my hair, while I was keeled over, spilling my guys on the clubhouse floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM JAX?! This is EXACTLY why I don't want you! You do stupid shit like this! What did you give her?" She screamed at him.
I couldn't hear his answer over my own gagging, but his mother came to help me and Rhyan.
"Lets get you home baby." She whispered to me.
In the car I fell into a deep sleep, and when I awoke, I was laying in my bed back in Tulsa sick as a dog with Hunter next to me and a note on my bedside table that read, "We need to talk. -Rhye."
That made my stomach turn and I just wanted to go back to sleep.
Although I was so angry at Owen for involving me with his petty crimes, I secretly enjoyed the feeling it gave me. It was an adrenaline rush I had never experienced before. It caused me to burn with excitement and it felt as if this was who I was meant to be all along.
I wanted to be bad, edgy, and sexy, but to myself and everyone else I was the exact opposite. I was often described as adorable, and with the name "Little Bird" it made it increasingly harder to convince others that I could be those things. I knew that was why I went to the extreme and did something so reckless. Yet still, with such a burning desire to be that bad girl, I was terrified and a part of me still yearned to be pure. Something I hadn't been in a very long time. It was that innocence that caused those around me to love me, but sometimes I felt like they saw me as weak and unable to fend for myself. I was faced with an internal dilemma. I needed to know who I was and who I really wanted to be, because I was unsure and wanted completely different things. I was confused about everything including who I should like, who I should hang around and how I should behave.
Before heading to California, I had several days to spend some time alone. The main reason for that being that a lot of people were mad at me. They all told me that I could have been killed, yet they refused to recognize that I handled myself. I did what was necessary. Yes, I got hurt, but what "could have been" didn't happen and they refused to get over it. Despite all of that, Dawn and Hunter didn't treat me any differently. So after spending most of my days reading, I would spend what remained of my day with the Cades.
Dawn and I were still as close as ever, and I was now able to spend a lot more time with her. She could turn any situation into something positive and defuse tension with comic relief.
Mostly we sat and talked or watched TV, every now and then we would go for a walk. It was those moments when we were around Hunter that I could feel something had changed. He would skulk in corners and watch me with those intense eyes of his. He reminded me of a guard dog keeping watch over their owner. It made me slightly uncomfortable at times, so one night, before we left for Spring Break, they stayed the night at my house. Dawn, Blair and I had been up late that night watching TV in Blair's room and they fell asleep way before I did. My stomach had long since been grumbling, so I headed downstairs to find something to eat. I nearly forgot that Hunter was sleeping on our couch until he jerked his head up at the sound of me on the stairs.
"Audrey?!" He rasped.
I knew I had startled him, and it made me laugh.
"Yeah, calm down you goon. I'm just gettin' some food." I stated turning the corner into the kitchen and flipping on the light.
I began rummaging through our fridge and cabinets trying to see what looked the best. Finally, I decided on some leftover chex mix I found in the back of our pantry. When I turned around to leave the kitchen, Hunter was standing right behind me.
"Jesus!" I yelled, "What the crap do you think you're doing?! What's your problem lately?"
I pushed him out of the way, and began making my way to the stairs. That's when I heard the faint whisper of him calling my name. It was so soft and barely audible but it was enough to make my knees weak. I stopped, and slowly turned to face him.
He was looking at the ground, and was shuffling his feet. I never noticed just how muscular he was.
Maybe it's just the lighting. I thought.
He looked up at me and made direct eye contact.
Oh dang... Was all that went through my mind. Those eyes. Immediately a knot formed in my stomach and I felt a tightness in my chest.
He moved toward me placing his hands on my waist. I suddenly felt naked, even though I was wearing what I usually wore to bed, a sports bra and shorts. His hands were like fire on my skin, it was tantalizing. I could feel his breath, hot and heavy. He just kept staring at me. No, he was staring into me. He was searching for something, a glimmer of emotion. That's when his usual smirk appeared on his face.
"Hmmm, so you like that?" He laughed.
I stepped back, pulling away from him.
"You wish I did." I retorted. If he was going to tease, I was going to do it right back. I walked backwards to the door, smiling. But when I turned my back and ran up the stairs, the smile on my face quickly faded.
His touch, the way he looked at me and the sound of my name as it rolled off of his tongue awakened something in me. A flame had ignited, and soon I knew I would no longer be able to resist him. I knew I would be consumed by desire and what I desired was to be consumed by him. A new sensation erupted deep within me. Like a volcano of pure, sensuous pleasure. My body ached for him as that fire reached places I had never felt that before. It was more than simple lust. It was now an invigorating necessity to belong solely to him. To be possessed by him. He had unlocked something hidden within me that would never go away, and all it took was the mere touch of his hand.
I went to my room and closed the door. With my back against the wall I had to catch my breath.
What just happened? I thought. I had never felt anything like that before. When Owen touched me I felt almost nothing. Of course it felt good but I had never felt that overwhelming sensation of desire.
An image of our bodies pressed together and his lips on my neck flashed through my mind. My skin was on fire, and those erogenous zones were throbbing, longing for touch. I was tempted to run back downstairs, climb on top of him and make love to him on the couch, but I resisted. I refused. I had to. I know that with him it would be different than with anyone else, and it would actually mean something. I just could not allow myself to feel that way about someone and more specifically Hunter.
How foolish I am! I mumbled to myself.
Why could I not make up my mind about what or who I wanted? I think I more loved the idea of Soda, because he was the perfect guy. Owen was your full on bad boy who is haunted by his past, but in no way desires to change. And Hunter, he was a pleasant mixture of the two. He was obviously imperfect, and flawed. He was impulsive, and he liked to hide things from me. He liked sex... A lot. He never really said how he felt, and when he did say things it always came out wrong. Yet, all of those things were so intriguing. His flaws magnified his strong points and made him almost irresistible. Most girls, couldn't handle him because they didn't take time to get to know him. Typically they wanted in his pants and they got upset when he did something that was interpreted as mean. I, however, knew that his loyalty to his family and friends was unprecedented. He was headstrong and independent. He was loving and affectionate, but in a way that was entirely his own. He was perfectly imperfect and it was great. That one concept induced a irrefutable comfort that was unmatched and irreplaceable. He was irreplaceable.
He had been a staple of continuity and a pillar of strength throughout my entire life, and we had never talked about anything more than friendship. In some ways I wanted to take a step forward, but at the same time I knew that Hunter was not the relationship type and I didn't know if I wanted the added complication of a "non-relationship relationship."
I heard footsteps on the landing outside my door causing me to snap back into reality. I cracked my door slightly and peeked out only to see Hunter standing at the top of the stairs looking right at me. My heart raced, and I opened the door farther, letting him know he could come in. He said nothing, entered the room, and locked the door behind him.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to come up here." I whispered, barely able to speak.
He smirked.
Oh dear God, he is sexy. I thought.
My body was trembling, and with my good hand, I reached out. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and lightly dragged my fingertips downward so I could feel every contour of his muscular arm. I drew in a quick shallow breath, and moved to him, placing my head in the crook of his neck. He slid his arms around me in response, holding me tightly against his chest. The warmth of his body almost had a melting effect. All of my muscles loosened, and I relaxed. The pain from my broken wrist faded as I became focused on him. His smell was intoxicating. It was the smell of cigarettes, and a slight musk mixed with a hint of sweat. Trying to figure out what it was made it sound disgusting, but the smell of his skin drove me insane. I could feel his hand move up my back slowly as if he was trying to tease me. It gave me the chills, and I knew he could feel the goosebumps I had all over. As he reached my shoulder he moved to my chest. Lightly tracing my collarbone inward to the base of my throat. He moved his hand up and tilted my head back slightly. With his thumb he pulled on my bottom lip, and then slipped his hand into my hair. He tightened his grip and pulled it just enough to make my head go back farther and to the side, as well as press my body further into his. He bent down and started kissing my shoulder, making his way inwards and to the sensitive areas of my neck. His other hand had a firm hold on my butt, and I dug my fingers into his back attempting to keep myself from falling. I was breathing heavy and I just wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to touch me. If I let him, it would be the first time I would have willingly had sex. I had never done that before by my own choice, and he knew that. His mouth now on my jawline, I couldn't stop myself from saying what came to my mind.
"Hunter, kiss me." I begged.
He pulled back and looked at me. His eyes sparkled for just a moment.
"Why?" He laughed.
"Because I want you to."
"I know you do." He smiled and bent to kiss my cheek making his way to my mouth. He kissed all around my mouth avoiding it entirely until I had finally had enough. He began to pull back but I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, got a handful of his hair, and pulled him to me.
"Oh..." He mumble before I pressed my lips firmly against his. He inhaled deeply and responded in the best way possible. With one swift movement, I was in his arms still kissing me. We made our way to the bed and laid me softly on my back without letting go or removing his lips from mine. His kiss made me forget everything. It was almost like floating. It was entirely euphoric and his hands gently caressed every inch of my skin. I don't remember exactly when or how it happened, but we both wound up naked. Although we were close enough that sex was the most obvious step but we just laid there. Completely enveloped in the other and lightly tracing circles on each other's skin.
"I know what would be expected in this situation, but I..." My voice trailed off.
He kissed me again keeping me from saying anything more.
"I know you want allllll of this," he said as he pushed his hips into mine, "but we can wait as long as you like. I don't mind it. Not at all." He whispered into my ear.
Suddenly there was a sound on the stairs coming from Blair's room, and a light tapping on my door.
"Audrey? Are you in there? Can you open the door please?" Dawn spoke lightly.
"Oh shit!" He said as he scrambled to grab clothes.
I showed him where to hide while I pulled on an over sized t-shirt that was laying on my floor.
I cracked the door open and saw her standing there.
"Hey," She said as she pushed past me. "What took you so long? Were you asleep?"
I said nothing.
"Hey have you seen Hunter? He wasn't downstairs, and the car to take us to the airport will be here soon, and I needed to ask him something."
I felt my face turn red, but I still said nothing. Dawn continued to gather her things that were thrown around my room. When she was finished, I heard a honk outside, and she turned to me.
"Audrey? Are you ready?"
"Oh, uh, yeah give me just a second. Y'all go ahead." I stated, looking for pants and my already packed bag.
Hunter rolled out from under my bed, and sighed.
"I thought she would never leave." He laughed. I almost didn't want to go. I didn't want to deal with what I had done. I really wanted my life to go back to the way it was. Except for this, Me and Hunter, that is. I liked it, and it just felt right. Hunter and I ran down the stairs to the front door. He was carrying my bag, and he stopped to pick up his. Blair came down to see Two-Bit and I off.
The expression on her face was one of abandonment. I know she was upset that we were leaving her here by herself since mom and Fred went AWOL, but it wasn't like we were going to party all week. It was business, and I would much rather be able to stay in my small house, but that was no longer an option. She gave me a hug, and told us to be safe. Just as we were climbing into the car, Dallas rode up on his motorcycle to watch Blair. She didn't need a babysitter, and even if she did we wouldn't call Dallas, but Tibbs and I really wanted someone to be there for her and make sure she was safe. Dawn, Hunter, Tibbs and myself rode off in a shiny black sedan to the airport. They all talked and laughed, but the brevity of what awaited me in California weighed heavily on my mind. I was lost in my thoughts until Hunter, whom had been holding my hand the whole car ride, kissed the top of it and drove away the mental fog that engulfed me. I looked at him and smiled. Dawn and Tibbs gave each other a strange look, but shrugged it off and climbed out of the car. Bre, Owen and Rhyan were standing next to another car no different from the one we arrived in. That's when we saw the big, black jet sitting there by itself on the tarmac. We oohed and awed, marveling at the luxurious aircraft we were traveling in. As everyone settled in, I quickly found the bedroom in the back. Everyone else may have slept, but I was too preoccupied with Hunter that I didn't sleep at all. After take off, I laid down and tried to take a nap, but Owen crept into the room and crawled in bed next to me. The lights were off and I was unable to see. He snuggled up next to me and slid his hand up my shirt grabbing my breast. I groaned a little and moved closer to him. He kissed my neck.
"Hunter, what if someone comes in?"
His hands jerked back.
"Hunter?! What the fuck?" Owen yelled.
"Owen! What the crap are you doing?" I began to panic. This was something I had not been expecting.
"Why the fuck would you think I was Hunter? Have you been screwing around behind my back?" He bellowed. He was now standing next to the bed, and the others were now crowding into the room.
"What's going on in here?" Hunter asked as he made his way around Bre.
Owen spun around and punched Hunter in the jaw.
"What the hell is wrong with you man?!" He yelled at Owen.
"Owen! What the fuck?" Bre shrieked. They all ran to Hunter's aid.
"Owen why are you acting like we are a couple? We never have been nor will we ever be!" I declared, flipping on the light.
He jumped on the bed, and pinned me down.
Hunter and Two-Bit rushed to pull him off of me, and Rhyan punched him in the back of the head.
"Take him out there. There is a sedative in the drawer to the left. Give him that. He'll be fine." She turned to me. "Are you alright?"
I nodded still in shock. She walked over slowly, wrapped on arm around me, and kissed the top of my head. Then she left, closing the door behind her.
I sat there, tears streaming down my face. Then Dawn and Hunter came in. He crawled behind me and put his arms around me.
We sat there until we landed. Hunter and Tibbs had to help Owen off of the plane, and then we saw the giant house where Rhyan and Owen grew up. It was like something you would see in a movie. It was ornate, and lavishly decorated. It sat right on the edge of a cliff with a gorgeous view of the ocean. I fell in love immediately, and tried to take it all in. Their housekeeper, Daniella, showed everyone to their rooms, and then returned later with Rhyan to take our orders for Chinese take out. That night we all sat around and talked, minus Owen because he ran off into town as soon as we got there, and everything seemed somewhat normal. I knew eventually I would have to talk to Rhyan about everything that was going on. The way she looked at me, and the sad look in her eye showed a glimpse of heartache, but I knew she wasn't ready to tell me.
Eventually, everyone went off to their rooms to take showers, and go to sleep. I think more than anything, we all just wanted to mess around with our rooms we were staying in. I heard Tibbs and Dawn talking about searching for secret passage ways. So when I finally got to my room and took a shower, I really didn't want to put clothes on. I just wanted to sit around naked, and I had a lock on the door that actually seemed to work, but I decided to just throw on a huge t shirt, just in case. Just as soon as I did, I heard a noise behind me. Startled, I jumped backwards and grabbed the closest thing to me that I could throw, which in my case was the TV remote.
"Who's there?!" I managed to choke out.
That's when Hunter emerged from the shadows.
"Whoa, there." He laughed. "What were you planning on doing? Bludgeoning me to death with a plastic TV remote?"
He walked closer to me, and I dropped it, letting down my guard.
"Ha. Ha. You just scared me, and that just so happened to be the closest projectile object. How did you get in here?" I asked.
He slipped his hands into mine, and was standing so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his skin.
"I'll show you." He whispered.
We walked to the far corner of the room that still remained in shadows, and pulled on what looked like a normal bookshelf, which then opened like a door. Still holding hands, we went through the door, and entered Hunter's room. Somehow, he had already managed to make a mess, and it reminded of his room back home. I just gave him a look.
"What? I don't like to live out of a suitcase. Plus, this makes me feel really comfortable." He stated.
"So," I said, "It looks like we have adjoining rooms. I'm just gonna have to find a way to lock you out." I attempted to turn back to my room, but he wouldn't let go of my hand.
"Uh uh, where do you think you're going?" He smirked.
Oh God, here it comes. I can't resist that look. Please, not the look. I thought to myself as he began wrapping his arms around me.
"I want to tell you something." He said quietly. I just stood there. I had no idea what was about to come next, and I almost didn't want to, but he kept talking before I could stop him.
"I know that you and I have known each other our entire lives, and I know that we have always been just friends, but there has always been something between the two of us that we never could place our fingers on. I know this might seem out of character for me, but I'm hoping that you know me like I think you do and won't be shocked by what I am about to say." He took a deep breath. "Okay here goes. So you and I both know that I have never been the relationship type, but I can't help but feel the way I about you. You're so damn beautiful in every way. I've watched over you since we were young, and I've seen how much more beautiful you are everyday. There has always been something inside of me that has compelled me to protect you. Like it was somehow letting me know that you were something so precious, and you needed me to guard you. I love how quiet you are, but when you speak not only can you put everyone to shame with your extremely large vocabulary and wit, but you have this charm about you. It's almost like you are enchanting everyone who hears your voice. I know this sounds stupid, but please, I'm almost done. I know I've never told you, and maybe I should have a long time ago, but I never really wanted to say it more than I did the moment you called me about Owen. I know he and I are friends, I mean hell, he took me to the hospital the other night when one of the Brumley's shot me, but he's an idiot, and he only really cares about himself. So when the two of you went missing, I feared the worse, and then when I saw his number on the dial, I thought you were dead. That moment when I saw you, you were all I could think about. I care for Owen, but I care so much more for you. You are everything that I want, and everything I know I can never really have because regardless of how wonderful you are and how we are growing closer in ways I never thought possible, I just can't see myself in a relationship. But dammit Audrey, I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I know that I'm asking you to settle, but I hope that there is some way you could take the love I have for you, and just simply return it. And that for now, just for now, this, my love, will be enough. I'm sorry that's so pathetic, but dammit it's the way that I feel. I know I should have said it long before now, but I'm saying it now, so there." He stopped abruptly, and starred at me with inquisitive eyes waiting for my response, and studying my face for any sort of reaction.
That's when I did it. I closed my eyes, and jumped on him. I placed my lips on him and kissed him. It was like suddenly that fire that I had felt before had now engulfed me. There was no stopping it. The next thing I know we are on the floor naked, once again, but this time we weren't just stopping to embrace the other. This time, we were so consumed by our desire that we knew exactly what to do. I bucked my hips into his, causing him to go deeper. I couldn't control myself, and I was no longer aware of my surroundings. All that I knew was that, I loved him, and it was just the two of us expressing that in a way that was so natural. Both of us were moaning and breathing heavily. I knew that there was no better way for this to happen. It was perfect. When we were both finished, he collapsed next to me, trying to catch his breath. We were both sweaty, with racing hearts, and messy hair. I turned to look at him.
"Hunter, I love you too and you are more than enough for me." And with that, we were lost again. Making love all through the night until our bodies just couldn't go on.
We awoke later in the afternoon to squeals and laughter downstairs. We decided that it was probably best that we both took a shower, closed the secret passage way, and went downstairs separately. It's not that we were embarrassed by being with one another, but that we weren't even sure how we would answer any one's questions.
Rhyan told us it was just a day to relax, so everyone went swimming. Owen was still gone, and we had yet to meet their father. I assumed that all of this was normal, and Rhyan's behavior only confirmed my suspicions. However, several times throughout the day, Hunter and I would sneak away to be alone for a little bit, and then quietly slip back in with the rest of them like we were never gone. At some point during one of our little rendezvous' Rhyan had gone to the store by herself to pick up a few things. She returned three hours later with Owen, and she was absolutely livid.
"SON OF A BITCH!OWEN! Why the hell would you tell him that I was here? You knew he would tell Gemma, and that I would have to go see her, and OF COURSE, I would be coerced to go to one of their fucking parties! He had two prospects grab be off the street like a kidnapping so he could tell me what a horrible person I am for not telling him that I was in town and that his mother missed me! Damn you Owen!" She shouted. That's when her father walked in. He was extremely attractive and I could tell where Owen got his good looks.
"What are you so upset about? Can't you be civil, and act like a decent human being without throwing some sort of temper tantrum every time you're home?" He spoke so smooth and calmly that it was almost easy to ignore the fact he just insulted her in front of us.
"It's about damn time you showed your face. I don't even get a hello now? Well, I love you too DAD. Or wait, are you still my father, cause you sure as hell don't act like one! Have you lost your damn phone, or have you started screening my calls now too?" She continued.
He glared at her. I hadn't noticed the two empty bottles of vodka that he was holding until he had finally descended from the stairs.
"That's enough." He stated, still calm.
"You don't fucking tell me what's enough! If you want to act like a grown-up then fine, have you done anything you were supposed to? You know... in getting the lawyer to meet with your son so he won't go to jail? Which by the way, he's just like you. A fucking asshole. And if you don't mind, I'm going to my room because I just got sucked into going to the see the fucking Sons, and one of their GOD DAMN parties! Grow some balls!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs as she stormed upstairs.
Rhyan told us to go have fun that she just needed to spend some time alone. Her father was still lingering around giving some suggestive looks to me, Dawn and Bre. He finally approached us.
"Alright, so who are you lovely ladies?" He asked kissing the tops of all our hands.
Bre giggled, "I'm Breanna Parker. Most call me Bre, but some call me Bren. It's up to you." He smiled and looked at Dawn.
"The names Dawn Cade, just Dawn I'm fine." And then his eyes were on me. It made me so uncomfortable.
"Um, I'm Audrey. Audrey Mathews." I mumbled.
His eyes got wide.
"Ahhh, so you're Audrey..." He said as if he suddenly had an epiphany.
"I've heard A LOT about you. You seem to have gotten yourself mixed up with my idiot son. Tell me Ms. Mathews, how does a girl so beautiful AND intelligent get involved with an empty headed delinquent like that?" He asked gesturing to Owen who was out of earshot.
I looked down.
"With all due respect Mr. Thatcher, Owen does have some redeemable qualities, and might not act out as much as he does if only someone, like you- his father, took the time to see that for themselves." I stated. Bre and Dawn's mouths hung open in shock. I was being disrespectful, but I didn't mind. He shouldn't say things like that about his own son. I'm sure it's mostly his fault for Owen's behavior anyway.
"Ahhh feisty. I like that. I tell you what," he moved closer and wrapped his huge hand around my wrist,"why don't you and I see just how feisty you can be." He looked at Dawn and Bre, "You can join if you'd like. You're all so beautiful. We could have a great time." That's when Rhyan rounded the corner into the room.
"Wyatt, get your hands off my friends and leave them alone. Don't be such a skeeze. They aren't even legal for crying out loud. Piss off."
As he walked away, I thought I heard him say "Yeah like that's ever stopped me before."
Rhyan apologized and sent us off to the theatre room to watch movies and play games all night. However, Hunter and I played a few games of our own.
The next day, I got up kind of early, and decided to go see if Rhyan was awake. I walked to her room and opened the door without even thinking to knock. When I looked inside, I saw Rhyan sitting on the edge of her bed locking lips with and extremely attractive, blonde, biker. From some of the pictures Rhyan had showed me, he looked like her ex, Jax Teller. I was shocked, and my unexpected presence startled them as well. I wasn't sure what to do, I went back and forth trying to decide whether or not to leave and finally said, "I'll come back." I shut the door and ran down the hallway to Hunter's room. I immediately climbed in bed with him, and tried to get what I had seen out of my mind. I didn't understand it at all. Rhyan made it sound like she hated him, but I knew he was her first love. That's when Hunter woke up, and was a little too excited for such an early hour.
Later that day we all got dressed up in grungy biker chic to go to the infamous Sons party. I was nervous. Yeah, we parties as a gang back in Tulsa, but that was out gang. With the exception of Rhyan and Owen, the rest of us had grown up with one another. It wasn't a big deal when got together and had a kegger or a shindig. We were used to it and comfortable with it. However, the only people in this group who knew the Sons were Rhyan and Owen. They had told us enough about them to know that we should be afraid, but that we would also have a good time because they knew how to party. On our way over Hunter let me know that he was going to watch overe, but he still wanted to party. I reassured him and told him not to fret and have fun.
When we arrived, we were greeted by the one and only Gemma Teller-Morrow, and her husband Clay Morrow. The sexy blonde I had seen Rhyan making out with earlier that morning was indeed Jax, and we were then introduced to everyone else.
Pretty soon the music was bumping and the alcohol was flowing. I had so much on my mind that I started to drink way more than what I usually did. My mind became so foggy, and I could hear myself slurring my words but I didn't care. The room started to spin, and walking felt like an Olympic sport, so I found a seat next to a cute Latino that they called, Juice, who was passing around a blunt. I was so wasted at that point I couldn't think straight enough to say no. So there I was high as a kite and hammered as a nail when the pretty blonde came over to me.
"You're names Audrey?" He asked
"Yep. Who's yours?" I replied.
He laughed, "I'm Jax. I kinda met you earlier today."
"You're the sexy one. I like your beard, and your leather cut. It's manly, and rugged. I want to kiss it. Your beard, that is. Is that weird?" I rambled. I could t stop myself.
"Not at all. You wanna go somewhere private?" He asked taking my hand.
I nodded, or at least I think I did because he smiled and started leading me to a back room that had a very large bed in it.
"It smells like pussy in here." I said in disgust. Now that I was drunk, anything and everything that popped into my head went spilling out.
He reached into a drawer, and pulled out some colorful pills.
"Here." He said handing me a few, "Take these. They'll help you relax."
I popped them in my mouth, and swallowed. He sat me down on the bed, and climbed on top of me. He began kissing me, and all I could feel was his beard on my face. I suddenly realized what I was doing but at that point it was too late. My vision started to darken around the edges, but bright flashes of neon colors flashed through the middle. I was drifting, drifting away from my body. I was riding on a turtle through the clouds. The stars began to twinkle and turned to shiny little diamonds. The sun and the moon came to talk to me, and they sang me such a lovely little song. Suddenly, I started to shake, and the moon started screaming my name "AUDREY!" He repeated over and over again. Just when I thought the shaking would stop, it became more and more violent.
"AUDREY! WAKE UP!" He yelled again.
"Calm down." I stated. I felt like I was talking in slow motion.
The shaking continued until a violent wave of nausea washed over me and I started vomiting uncontrollably. That's when I "woke up." Everyone was staring at me. I could feel their eyes burning holes into my skin.
Rhyan was next to me, holding my hair, while I was keeled over, spilling my guys on the clubhouse floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM JAX?! This is EXACTLY why I don't want you! You do stupid shit like this! What did you give her?" She screamed at him.
I couldn't hear his answer over my own gagging, but his mother came to help me and Rhyan.
"Lets get you home baby." She whispered to me.
In the car I fell into a deep sleep, and when I awoke, I was laying in my bed back in Tulsa sick as a dog with Hunter next to me and a note on my bedside table that read, "We need to talk. -Rhye."
That made my stomach turn and I just wanted to go back to sleep.
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